Self-control

Many of us will enjoy the next six weeks of the year in one form of celebration or another. We will be with friends, family, co-workers. We will be at intimate dinners and large parties. How will you behave?

^Esther1:8 By the king's command each guest was allowed to drink in his own way, for the king instructed all the wine stewards to serve each man what he wished.

Self-control. I am not saying you should be scrooge or not go and enjoy an egg nog. But, we are called, as Christians to be set apart. We are to set the example. There is plenty of fun to be had when you incorporate self-control. Maybe even more. When you know when to say "no", when you know when not to say the joke you want to say, when you keep your wits so you can still be the man or woman God has called you to be....all things turn out better.

Proverbs 25:²⁸ Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control

I encourage you to enjoy all of the joy and laughter that comes with the holiday celebrations but don't forget to go in with a bit of self-control. Pray for wisdom, pray for self-control. He will be with you in all your holiday jubilation ready to be glorified in all you do.

Out of his hands

Proverbs 27:16
restraining her is like restraining the wind
or grasping oil with the hand.

This verse goes with yesterdays verse. Dealing specifically with the relationship between a husband and a wife. Have you ever met a woman that constantly breaks her husband down? Have you ever seen how hard it is for the husband to gain control of the situation, to keep his pride, his composure? Is it right for anyone to break others down? If it is hard for someone to be kind and hold their tongues, then they probably don't have much self control. From their husbands point of view, it would be hard for them to want to take their wives out in social gatherings, to expose himself to the dangers of a quarrelsome wife. Especially if that husband is a Christian. How hard would it be to reflect Christ if you are seconds away from being torn apart by your spouse. It is impossible to assume that she would be able to control herself or her tongue. Next time you see someone who tears her spouse down, don't tolerate it anymore. Gently call her out, or explain to her that you don't want to be a part of it. In many cases, girlfriends can be the death of a relationship because we find it hard to call out the actions of our friends. This doesn't help because they will move onto a new relationship and bring themselves with them, never seeing that they may be causing strife in their relationships.

What will you do the next time you hear someone tearing down their spouse? What can you do now for those who need a gentle call out? Pray for them, pray for yourself if you have little self control regarding your spouse.

Dear Lord, I pray that we will all take this matter seriously. That we will practice self control with our tongues and actions relating to our spouses. That we will not be so far from the grasps of our husbands that cuddle time is not an option!!!! Lord, thank you for those who are an example of love and that reflect patience and self control when it comes to relationships. May we learn from them.

Please continue to pray for Chloe F. this week.

Jealousy, Day 3

On Day 1 we looked at the definitions for jealousy. Today I want to look at number 3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

How do we have jealousy and do it out of Spirit? Vigilance can be good and it can be bad. Many of us have seen what happens when someone has a jealous personality that destroys all of their relationships. It is easy to loose the things we love when our vigilance becomes control and obsession.

We have a couple of wonderful fruit in our lives that allows us to be vigilant and guarding in our relationships without becoming the thing that causes bitterness and resentment.

Let me just put this out there. I am a jealous person, especially when it comes to my husband. I am jealous of his time and his attention. It would be easy for me to control him and make crazy accusations that come from my wild imagination. Don't get me wrong, I haven't always gotten this right. At the beginning of our marriage I was always accusing him of spending too much time with people at work, of having a girl friend. My jealousy came from a place of pure insecurity. I still have my days but I have changed my perspective.

Marriages need a bit of vigilance and guarding. Actually, maybe a lot more then we give them. They are suppose to be our number one human relationships and we give them the least of our attention. Our spouses get our worst. As Christians we proudly show off our beautiful fruit of love and patience and kindness and self-control and we don't realize we don't share those very things with the one we supposedly love the most.

What would happen in your marriage if you vigilantly poured in kindness, gentleness, joy and faithfulness? Do you think things would change? In Galatians 5:25 it tells us that if we live BY the Spirit, then we also WALK by the Spirit. (emphasis mine). Sometimes in our Christian lives it is easier to have and give the gifts of God in the outside world. When we pour into our marriages and allow the vulnerability it takes to be real with someone, our families will reap the benefits. it is hard to put yourself out there and not know how someone with respond or even if any of it will come back to you. Trust me, it is worth all the effort you can gather to put fruit in your marriage. Your spouse may know the worst and last that you have to give, but do they know the first fruits of your life?

What would happen in your marriage if you were guarding it with love, peace, patience and self-control? I don't want to scare you but your marriage needs guarding, they all do. This world isn't a big fan of great marriages. We can't be passive about the one we love the most, the one we once said we wanted to spend our entire lives with.

Galatians 5: 22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.