Heather, Day 4

Spiritually Fit to Run the Race

Heather, Day 4

A year ago I was sitting in church when the High School Pastor challenged the congregation to write our eulogy. I shrugged it off. What a morbid thought. Before the service was over, I had made the commitment to do it.

Every year for my birthday, my husband graciously watches our 3 children while I go on a mini- secluded retreat by myself. I have to admit, at first being with just me was hard to do. Now I covet that time. So I set out with a mission, I was going to write my own eulogy.

It was not easy. I learned a valuable lesson though. I learned that I have a lot to do with what is going to be said at my own funeral. Go figure. I am not going to share it with you today, I think I have written enough for a month, but if you want to see it, I would like to encourage you to read it, then write your own. Just let me know and I will email it to you.

You learn a lot about yourself and reflect on those relationships around you when you consider your own death.

So where does "Spiritually Fit to Run the Race" fit into all this? Well, I came out of the writing process with a goal, a mission statement. A one-liner for others to remember me by. I came to the conclusion that all the great things I wrote may or may not happen. I am no longer in control of my life. So for me, it was fitting to take the title of the first book that I did when I started this online devotional. It was very powerful and it was the book that launched me into what I believe is fulfilling the will of God in my life. I encourage anyone to read "Spiritually Fit to Run the Race" by Kenneth C. Ulmer.

It is okay to dream and plan and have something to live for, a goal. So that is my intention, but I have no clue what God has planned and I am not about to stand in his way. Of course I considered my children's lives and how we all do ministry together, that they marry men who reflect the character of Christ. Of course, but....... who knows.

In Ecclesiastes 9:11 Solomon writes "I have observed something else in this world of ours. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise are often poor, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being at the right place at the right time.

In 1 Corinthians 9:24 it says "Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade a way, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.

In 2 Timothy 4:7 it says "I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me-the crown of righteousness that the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that great day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his glorious return.

And my favorite... Hebrews 12:1 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up.

Dear Lord, I pray that I have been able to speak your word this week without making it about me. For my story is your story and I pray that you will always be glorified by my testimony. I pray that we will all have enough endurance to run the race, that we will finish well.

Please pray for Pastor Dale Collver this week. (he has a separate prayer letter he sends out each week if you would like to sign up for it. Email him at www.dcollver@hillchurch.com )

Angela and I would like to hear from you. Please take the time to respond to us today with questions or comments about the information we have shared the last two weeks. Is this something you enjoyed? Would you be willing to share your testimony with us? We would love to include these comments and questions tomorrow along with praises and prayer. We can keep them confidential if you would like.

Next week, we start a new devotional series. We are going to go through the 10 th chapter of Proverbs, The Proverbs of Solomon. This will be a shorter series than usual, but Angela and I are working on some new ideas and structure for the devotional, so we are going to be meeting once a week in prayer for the group. If you would like to join us in praying, please let us know. If you would like an invite letter for friends, family and co-workers for the next series, please also let us know. Contact us at www.womenofworship1@gmail.com, hcollver@msn.com, or angdstolpe@gmail.com .

God Bless You All
Heather

Heather, Day 3, A Princess

Heather, Day 3

A Princess in God’s Eyes

First, I want to apologize to the men reading this. It is all about the ladies today. I remember as a child, strutting around thinking I was a princess with my blanket around me and a tiara. What a difference our imagination makes. It is true that we are princesses. If God is our Lord, Jesus is our King, then as daughters of Christ, we are Princesses. Go ahead and claim it now, your royalty. Okay, now slowly come down off that pedestal. How many of you were just about to raid the dress-up bin in search of your own tiara and fancy princess gear? It is all about perspective, I guess.

Remember our King? Jesus came as a poor man who washed the feet of servants. Maybe the princess life isn't what we pictured at all, maybe it is more about our hearts, our lives than how great we look in a tiara. We are Christians. Shouldn't we start looking like it.

So why am I talking about this when I am supposed to be talking about me? I am supposed to give you insight on who I am. Well, I am Heather Nadine Collver, a princess of the Most High, now have a seat, I have some foot washing to do.

How do you think the world views Christians? How did you view Christianity before you came into your own relationship with Christ? I think I have been guilty of looking at others and thinking they were an example of Christianity that I could follow. I think that is making Christianity a brand. Something I can define and I can identify, just like my comfy Nike shoes or my 700 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. It's not just another item I can add to my assets list, it's a heart issue, it is a soul issue. The only way I am going to truly reflect the Christ that is my King is by looking at his example, learning from him. I don't even have to do anything, my thoughts, my heart, my life must be in response to who my Jesus is, what he DOES for me, and what he desires in my life.

God has given us His Word to see what that picture is. We all need a personal relationship with God, Godly people who encourage us and keep us accountable and we all need to share our faith with those that are hurting and broken. We all need to make it more than another brand. It is a relationship with responsibility. Don’t let your friends go on in a desperate state, where there are too many alters to pull them further from God. Everyone deserves their claim to royalty, everyone deserves eternity.

I was vulnerable when I shared my testimony yesterday. I didn't know if it would impact any ones life. I got an email last night that rocked my world, my thinking, my soul. It literally made my head spin. What if you shared your testimony and only one person was changed by it. Is that one person enough? I hope I can encourage you to share your story with someone today.

Today, I carry around my past, it is weaved into my very soul. It takes more strength some days than others to reflect God as my Lord. He made me perfect in his eyes. So no matter where I am or what I am dealing with, he wants to be a part of my life. He wants to restore my relationships with my family as well. It is certainly a work in progress as each of us struggles with pieces of our pasts. He desires each of us to come to him. No one deserves his love more than another.

While reading my testimony, one may be tempted to judge or condemn my mother for what I lived through. I used to do the same thing. The truth is, though, that my mom struggles just like anyone else. I don’t think she used to dream of her life turning out how it did when she was a little girl. I bet she imagined herself as a princess as well.

We all mess up. Big or small. We aren't exempt from pain and suffering. I only hope my children will dream of being princesses. I hope that they will understand that they are truly royalty. I pray that they will not only remember the hard times or the moments I messed up, that my love will be more to them than the times when I couldn't love myself, or anyone else for that matter.

Now that I am a princess of the Most High, I realize that my family doesn’t automatically turn into a fairytale with orchestrated music and magic and fireworks. Since I became a Christian, I have had to make many hard decisions, many sacrifices. I have watched my mom struggle in her own Pig Pen, almost taking her own life and I have watched my youngest sister struggle in her own pig pen as a foster child. I have watched my sister Shawna struggle with relationships and finding her own identity. I have watched her sacrifice to be the best mommy she possibly can and I am proud of her. I have watched my oldest sister deal with anger and pain.

I have dealt with each of the same issues in my own way. Closing up, building walls. God has helped us to begin our restoration project. It will take a while, but he is good at working on each brick, one at a time, so we don’t pick it back up and put it back on the wall. I couldn't have imagined it this way and God knows what would have happened if he was not the one in control.

One thing I try to remember each day, to embrace who I am, I am unique and I was created to be me. I must never compare myself to others or think that I know what they are thinking or how they view me. I must believe that God has done a great work in me and that he loves me. My biggest wish is that I will teach my children to slowly separate from me, being the person God intended them to be, not some crazy idea that I have for them. I pray that they will embrace their gifts and that they will, above all things, know and love my Father, their creator, and walk in a relationship with Him.

Ephesians 4:29-32
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4 Here is the whole chapter for you to read.

Whatever Your Doing: Sanctus Real

Heather, Day 2, my testimony

Heather, Day 2, my testimony

From the pig pen

A Pig Pen
Have you heard the story of the lost son? He left his father, ended up working in the pig pens, where he was lower then them, not even being able to eat after them, after coming to his senses, he sought out his father. Then his father received him with open, loving arms,

That is my story, and I am sure I share it with many others. I am going to share with you the story of my pig pen. I'm offering this testimony out of obedience to God even though I am extremely nervous to be open for ridicule, rejection and judgment. What do you picture when you think of a pig pen?

I was born almost 32 years ago to a 17 year old mother and a sister that was almost 2. My mother and father married after I was born. My father was 34. This was my mothers second marriage. He had 2 sons and a daughter who he was convicted of molesting when I was 4. I am not sure if I was molested or not. I remember some things about those times, mostly things I don’t want to talk about.

When I was probably 5, mom met Todd. A drunk driver hit us on a freeway and flipped the vehicle we were in. Everyone went to the hospital. I thought my mom was going to die. I walked away with stitches, everyone else had months of recovery. They married shortly after the recovery and Todd became my daddy. Everything about him was what I had dreamed of. Strong, funny, warm, caring, and firm.

When I was 7, we moved to Oregon. Our lives changed, forcing Angela and I to look out for each other. We were around drugs and people that didn’t look out for our best interest. When school started, we moved again. I don’t remember much about that home, other than being scared most of the time. There were times we would see several people high on drugs and overdosing. Mom and daddy were always fighting. One night mom was high as a kite. I thought she was going to die.

We moved again into a really nice neighborhood. Mom found out she was pregnant that spring. After Shawna was born, we had a somewhat functional family. We were involved in sports, had everything we wanted and loved to play in the neighborhood and at friends houses. I was permiscuis and loved the attention from the boys. Mom and daddy only drank occasionally and had less major fights. Everything seemed okay. I remember sneaking into the living room one night a watching a movie from behind the couch. All I remember is that there was a lot of sex. From then on, every neighbor boy was my student. I wanted to tell them everything I had seen. I know it wasn't right, but it was exciting.

Before I knew it, I was 12 and going into the 7th grade. That summer, my parents told me they were getting divorced. Mom said my daddy didn’t want me; I was not his real child. I was hurt, rejected, and my world was turned upside down. I sought out male attention from every boy I met. That summer, my sister and our friends were into NKOTB, on the MTV video they showed girls all over them with their fan club info. We used moms camera to take revealing photos of ourselves and sent them to the group. I didn’t know much about sex, I knew what I learned from the videos I watched or from the neighbor boys. School started, Mom had a new guy, Matt, that moved in. He had money, a cool car, and liked to rock out. (There were 6 others that would come and go that year) By Christmas break, we had coed sleepovers with our friends. Mom made our first mixed alcoholic beverage, showed us how to get rid of a hang over and got drunk with us. One night I woke up to find a guy all over me. Later on, in High school, I found out he had AIDS. He died a few years after that. Another night I walked a high schooler home that forced me to touch him inappropriately. I couldn't tell anyone because I was afraid it was my fault. One night I drank a mix of alcohol and acid without knowing and friends locked me in my room. I freaked out for what seemed hours. I smoked a few cigarettes and tried pot, but drugs were not fun for me, reminding me of my past.

This went on until April and was getting old. Mom flirted with the boys from school that came to get drunk and sleep over. On my 13th birthday, I met Dale. He was in the rock band that performed for my party. We went to the beach for the weekend and Dale came along. We started dating that week. Dale was almost 17. It was not long after that when Dale and I had sex. My influences tought me it was okay. From then on my mom or grandma made sure I was on birth control. His parents did not want us to be together. In order for me to feel accepted by Dales parents, we went to church with them, but we did not change. I attended for them, not me.

When my 14th birthday came, I had already had sex, been drunk and done drugs. I was exposed to porn and physical and emotional abuse. I told Dale that if he did drugs, we would have to break up. He did them when I was not around. My mom handed me the court documents regarding my dad. This made me angry. Angela found out about her dad too, but she got to meet him. She attended church; a family took her in. I hardly ever saw her. I wanted church to fit into my life, not my life to be changed by God, instant gratification, an award or Halo. I wanted things to go my way.

Mom met Mark, who moved into our lives, trying to fill in as a parent, which was not received so well. He was raised from a Christian home and was wealthy. He kept his other residence and we went to the private lake house often. My freshman year, Dales parents divorced. I was so angry with his dad, he was moving away, just like every other male in my life.

My Sophomore year my mom was engaged to Mark and pregnant. Before I knew it, mom was single again. We moved from the home that was the only thing stable in my life. I was distraught, there was no way I was going to turn to God. I poured my heart into school and worked as a buser, then at Wendy's. I stayed away from home as much as possible. Dale would hang out with me on weekends and moved in the upstairs basement my Junior year.

McKayla was one of the best Christmas presents ever. Seemed like mom and I were finally coming together. We had a family and it was nice. Dale and I figured we would get married some day. There were times in our relationship that I thought I might be pregnant.

I considered all options, even suicide. I was too selfish to do it, but I thought about it. I was depressed most the time. I found out I had a thyroid disease the beginning of my senior year. Dale was an adult, working 40 hours a week and hanging out with his friends. We barely taked. I worked at Wendys and often over ate to hide my pain. Dale proposed on my 18th birthday, which actually came as a surprise to me. I graduated and we moved out.

I started college classes with my mom and spent time planning our wedding. We bought a house, got married, and started our Photography business in 10 months. Then I found out I was pregnant (this seriously only took one time to get pregnant). We struggled as young parents. I was the party queen. The youngest of most of our friends, so it was fun to finally be able to experience adulthood. Juggling that with a business and being a mom was not easy. It put a lot of strain on us. I was insecure, I was broken and I was depressed. It wasn’t until I decided to find my real Father when I was 22, that the concept of God became real to me. I never did find my father (I did find my grandma, uncle and sister and brothers), but in the process I found God, I found what I had wanted for so many years.

Our friend, Leif, drowned and left behind a wife and daughter. I told my mother in law that I wouldn’t believe in God until he revealed himself to me. Then my second child, Hannah, was faced with a surgery and God healed her. As I watched the doctors go over their records and ask me again if they were looking at the right ear that had been torn days before, I realized God was revealing himself to me. I did not believe in God until I saw him. I was desperate, in need of hope. I had many promises from different influences in my life. All which failed me. God has a will and purpose for everyone. At 25, I gave my life to God. I walked to him and he ran to me on the path with his arms wide open.

We all need an alter, something to go to, something to confide in and trust. Our true alter is where we become humble before our Lord, pour out our hearts and run from temptations. Put away lusts and things that don’t honor God. Dale was my alter for so many years. He had already started his walk with God and when it was my time to accept my creators will in my life, my husband gently guided me while God lead me. A few years ago, we celebrated 10 years of marriage with a covenant ceremony. God continues to amaze me, showing me his plan from before I was even born. I praise him for pig pens, because it is a place I never want to be again. Because of Him, it is a place that I never want anyone to have to go.

So that is my purpose, to plant seeds of hope and love.

Luke 15:6 ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7 I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.

Luke 15:10 10 Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.

Blessed Be Your Name: Tree 63


Dear Lord, I pray that you will bring healing to those that read this testimony, that you will take the words and use them for your glory. Thank you, Lord for carrying me when I needed you, for letting me walk when I needed to know I had enough strength and dancing with me when all I needed was to be free. Amen.

Please continue to pray for Pastor Dale C. this week.

Who I am, Heather, Day 1

Heather, Day 1

Who I am

Today I am challenged with the task of writing about myself (okay, so I usually don't have a problem. I'll start out by defining who I am, Heather Nadine Collver. Through my life, I have also used Schmith, Cottrell, and Leavitt as a last name.

Heather simply means a flowering shrub or interwoven yarns of mixed colors producing muted grayish shades with flecks of color. Nadine is defined as a female given name.

I had to laugh when I read the definitions. They are so simple and I like to think I am as well.

Flowering is a good way to describe my life, I started out a seed that needed nurturing until I was in the light of the "son" to bloom. I had no problem maturing fast, in fact, I was "blooming" in fourth grade with a body of a 12 year old.

I am certainly a grayish shades type of person. If I could just be here and not be seen, then I would be in my element. As an adult, I strive to be here and reflect my God, so that I am not the one that people see, but to Him be the glory. There are times when my flowering takes over the rest of the garden though. I tend to spread myself out all over the place. Spring is my favorite season, with all the new blooms, which is a reminder of when I became a Christian, how God gave me new life, and continues to give me a new day, full of opportunity to spread seeds. It defines who I want to be in Christ; forever changing, growing, and producing in response to the love and care of my creator and caregiver.

Flecks of color brings a smile to my face which quickly dims when I remember growing up. My freckles were my signature until the hormones took over and hid behind that nasty pubescent acne that earned me the recognition of “Pizza Face” in fifth grade.

Interwoven yarns of mixed colors has many meanings in my life. The first thing that comes to mind is the many people that influenced my life, from ALL walks of life, weaving into my life different colors. The second thing I think about is my hair. As a small child, my hair was straight bright yellow blond from the Reno sun. When I moved to Oregon when I was 7, it began to fade underneath so that when I was at that already awkward age of 11, it decided to curl and grow out a light brown color. The top half being curly brown and the bottom being straight blond. Third, I think of how my life was filled with bursts of color. There were times when all I could see was black and white. I think of when I had our first daughter, Hayley. I could not bear the color pink. Now, with three girls, it has taken over our lives. I've warmed up to it.

Jeremiah 17:8
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."


Dear Lord,
I praise you for who I am. When I read and understand what my name means, help me to remember your victory in my life. Although I may have reflected a thorny bush for many of my growing up years, I know that you continued to nourish me in times of drought, in times of trouble, those thorns protected me. So I thank you for all the colors in my life that have made me who I am today. May I give back to you my life so that you can use me to plant the seeds of hope and love in those who need it. Lord, bless those that read the devotional this week. Help me to have the words to speak life into them, use me, Lord, I am yours. Amen.

Please pray for Dale C. this week.