Counsel

When we read through the book of Esther we find Xerxes often times looked to counsel for advice, direction and understanding.

What do you do when you need advice? Who do you call?

I have a few in my life that I know will side with whatever I say, so they are the one's I call when I want only to be right. I have a few others that quite enjoy throwing a good pity party with me. I have others who are wonderful listeners, you know the one's that sit there and just let you talk it out until you come up with your own solution. And then, I have the people that I trust with my heart, the people I call when I need accountability, sound judgment and clear advice.

No one in the list above is more or less important to me, because I love them all dearly. Truth be told, it is my accountability partners that are the most respected in my life. They are the people living their own lives in response to God's grace. They aren't afraid to be honest, they know I want sound biblical councel and they won't tell a soul what my struggles may be. They are also the relationships that require the most vulnerability by me, the relationships require me to sacrifice a part of my sheltered self in order to be real.

Good counsel is important. It in fact is one of the most important decisions you can make. Discernment is always a necessary part of finding real counsel in this life. While, we know people may disappoint us, we still need to step out and be able to be held accountable to the lives we desire to live for God. Because, above all else your counsel needs to be led by the One with the best guidance.

^{John 14:15} "If you love me, you will obey what I command. ¹⁶And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— ¹⁷the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

Near or Far

Proverbs 27:10
Your own friend and your father’s friend, forsake them not; neither go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near [in spirit] than a brother who is far off [in heart].

This verse has a very real and important message. I hope you hear it. Family is the tie that binds us but in life family isn't always the best place to look for support. I want to use a very real example for you. To my family that I love dearly please know that this is not meant to offend but show a very real picture of how going to family for advice or comfort in our times of need isn't always the best option.

I got married at 19. Maybe not the best idea and although my marriage is an absolute blessing things aren't always easy. Early in our marriage things were tough. We both didn't know how to be married, how to share our lives, how to communicate. This list could continue. Ted and I found out early on that the worst place for help and advice was our families.

If I went to my mom and needed advice, it became me against him. Mom always sided with my part of the argument. She would allow me to sulk in my misery and frustration and blame it all on my husband. While it can feel good to have someone in your corner throwing punches with you, it isn't the best advice. It also isn't the way to keep a marriage together. If Ted would go to his family, I became the bad guy and wasn't good enough for their baby boy.

Ted and I wanted more than this for us. While at the beginning of our marriage we didn't follow a life honoring God we knew we wanted more than the divorces and frustration that had plagued both of our families. It wasn't easy and we had to search out and find people to mentor us and guide us. We had to find people who would give us godly advice, even if we didn't realize that is what we were searching for at the time.

This year, Ted and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. We are blessed and strong. I thank God daily for the people that we are and were able to go to in our greatest struggles. And in this life that brings a roller coaster ride of up and downs we have learned the value of finding godly counsel in our lives. We now, intentionally search out those who are close "in spirit" and know that when we are in need it will be met with godly, discerning counsel.

I challenge you in your life, your marriage and all that comes to you when the times are tough and you can search out the one who will just agree or you can search out the one who will challenge and provide growth, choose the challenge. Choose to stand tall on the counsel of those who live in the Spirit.

Please continue to pray for Denise P this week.

Sweetness

Proverbs 27:9
Oil and perfume rejoice the heart;
so does the sweetness of a friend’s counsel that comes from the heart.

All I can truly say to this verse is AMEN!!

I have been abundantly blessed in my friendships. I could spend an entire week telling you of how each and every person has transformed my life.

Friends can become our safe places in life. The people we count on, depend on and love. Friends are the closest to us and can hurt us the most deeply. Real intimacy in any relationship opens up our lives to the real greatness in friendship. Real sweetness.

There are friends in our lives that give more to us than we could ever repay them with. People we trust with our greatest secrets, our biggest fears and failures, these are the ones that become a part of who we are. I pray that each of us have someone in our lives that we know will hold us accountable, love us when we fail, and encourage us to see the things God sees in us.

I know how easy it is to call the friend that will agree with you. I know how easy it is to call the one that will always take your side. Next time, I challenge you to call the friend that will give you godly, honest advice.

Heavenly Father~ Thank you Lord for the amazing people in my life. Thank you for the friends that love me, encourage me, and challenge my life. Lord, I pray that you give me the wisdom to be the friend that gives wise council. I pray You be in the very words I speak when I encourage and love my friends. I pray your blessings over those I love today and those friendship you are preparing for me tomorrow. I thank you for the blessings of friends that love me and the sweetness of their friendships that come into my life. ~In Your Heavenly Name

Please pray for Denise P this week.