Near or Far

Proverbs 27:10
Your own friend and your father’s friend, forsake them not; neither go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near [in spirit] than a brother who is far off [in heart].

This verse has a very real and important message. I hope you hear it. Family is the tie that binds us but in life family isn't always the best place to look for support. I want to use a very real example for you. To my family that I love dearly please know that this is not meant to offend but show a very real picture of how going to family for advice or comfort in our times of need isn't always the best option.

I got married at 19. Maybe not the best idea and although my marriage is an absolute blessing things aren't always easy. Early in our marriage things were tough. We both didn't know how to be married, how to share our lives, how to communicate. This list could continue. Ted and I found out early on that the worst place for help and advice was our families.

If I went to my mom and needed advice, it became me against him. Mom always sided with my part of the argument. She would allow me to sulk in my misery and frustration and blame it all on my husband. While it can feel good to have someone in your corner throwing punches with you, it isn't the best advice. It also isn't the way to keep a marriage together. If Ted would go to his family, I became the bad guy and wasn't good enough for their baby boy.

Ted and I wanted more than this for us. While at the beginning of our marriage we didn't follow a life honoring God we knew we wanted more than the divorces and frustration that had plagued both of our families. It wasn't easy and we had to search out and find people to mentor us and guide us. We had to find people who would give us godly advice, even if we didn't realize that is what we were searching for at the time.

This year, Ted and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. We are blessed and strong. I thank God daily for the people that we are and were able to go to in our greatest struggles. And in this life that brings a roller coaster ride of up and downs we have learned the value of finding godly counsel in our lives. We now, intentionally search out those who are close "in spirit" and know that when we are in need it will be met with godly, discerning counsel.

I challenge you in your life, your marriage and all that comes to you when the times are tough and you can search out the one who will just agree or you can search out the one who will challenge and provide growth, choose the challenge. Choose to stand tall on the counsel of those who live in the Spirit.

Please continue to pray for Denise P this week.