On Day 1 we looked at the definitions for jealousy. Today I want to look at number 3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
How do we have jealousy and do it out of Spirit? Vigilance can be good and it can be bad. Many of us have seen what happens when someone has a jealous personality that destroys all of their relationships. It is easy to loose the things we love when our vigilance becomes control and obsession.
We have a couple of wonderful fruit in our lives that allows us to be vigilant and guarding in our relationships without becoming the thing that causes bitterness and resentment.
Let me just put this out there. I am a jealous person, especially when it comes to my husband. I am jealous of his time and his attention. It would be easy for me to control him and make crazy accusations that come from my wild imagination. Don't get me wrong, I haven't always gotten this right. At the beginning of our marriage I was always accusing him of spending too much time with people at work, of having a girl friend. My jealousy came from a place of pure insecurity. I still have my days but I have changed my perspective.
Marriages need a bit of vigilance and guarding. Actually, maybe a lot more then we give them. They are suppose to be our number one human relationships and we give them the least of our attention. Our spouses get our worst. As Christians we proudly show off our beautiful fruit of love and patience and kindness and self-control and we don't realize we don't share those very things with the one we supposedly love the most.
What would happen in your marriage if you vigilantly poured in kindness, gentleness, joy and faithfulness? Do you think things would change? In Galatians 5:25 it tells us that if we live BY the Spirit, then we also WALK by the Spirit. (emphasis mine). Sometimes in our Christian lives it is easier to have and give the gifts of God in the outside world. When we pour into our marriages and allow the vulnerability it takes to be real with someone, our families will reap the benefits. it is hard to put yourself out there and not know how someone with respond or even if any of it will come back to you. Trust me, it is worth all the effort you can gather to put fruit in your marriage. Your spouse may know the worst and last that you have to give, but do they know the first fruits of your life?
What would happen in your marriage if you were guarding it with love, peace, patience and self-control? I don't want to scare you but your marriage needs guarding, they all do. This world isn't a big fan of great marriages. We can't be passive about the one we love the most, the one we once said we wanted to spend our entire lives with.
Galatians 5: 22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Jealousy, Day 3
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4 comments:
hi- just wanted to let you know, that I too used to have a big problem with jealousy years ago.
Yes, I was very insecure, but after much thinking, I believe that the husband is just as responsible
in making sure he honors his wife's feeling-both have to do their part in reasurring each from time to time-
good suggestion-yes? after all, wer're all human.
My writing today was to focus on the responsibility of both men and women in marriage. I do believe that husbands are just as responsible as wives for the vigilance and guarding in their marriages. I think it is important in all of our relationships to be proactive. Do what you can to make your marriage the strongest it can be. Don't wait to react to what they are doing or not doing right. Our humanity and forgiveness are some of the most important things to keep in mind in any relationship, especially marriage.
I think when our Identity comes from Christ and NOT our husbands then we can release them -- having no expectations and simply enjoying the beautiful Christ made them. When we surrender moment by moment to the Spirit, our spouses get the benefit from our words and get to enjoy the Fruit of our Spirit. There is much REST in relaxing, surrendering, and trusting the Creator with my marriage! I am so thankful to have a husband that lives this way -- I know for many women it is difficult to surrender moment by moment when they are living harsh conditions. But nevertheless, I believe it is possible. For me the journey has been a long one..I too struggled with being jealous early in marriage...and it was also rooted in a false identity.
Beautifully said Jmbmommy....
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