Heather, Day 2, my testimony

Heather, Day 2, my testimony

From the pig pen

A Pig Pen
Have you heard the story of the lost son? He left his father, ended up working in the pig pens, where he was lower then them, not even being able to eat after them, after coming to his senses, he sought out his father. Then his father received him with open, loving arms,

That is my story, and I am sure I share it with many others. I am going to share with you the story of my pig pen. I'm offering this testimony out of obedience to God even though I am extremely nervous to be open for ridicule, rejection and judgment. What do you picture when you think of a pig pen?

I was born almost 32 years ago to a 17 year old mother and a sister that was almost 2. My mother and father married after I was born. My father was 34. This was my mothers second marriage. He had 2 sons and a daughter who he was convicted of molesting when I was 4. I am not sure if I was molested or not. I remember some things about those times, mostly things I don’t want to talk about.

When I was probably 5, mom met Todd. A drunk driver hit us on a freeway and flipped the vehicle we were in. Everyone went to the hospital. I thought my mom was going to die. I walked away with stitches, everyone else had months of recovery. They married shortly after the recovery and Todd became my daddy. Everything about him was what I had dreamed of. Strong, funny, warm, caring, and firm.

When I was 7, we moved to Oregon. Our lives changed, forcing Angela and I to look out for each other. We were around drugs and people that didn’t look out for our best interest. When school started, we moved again. I don’t remember much about that home, other than being scared most of the time. There were times we would see several people high on drugs and overdosing. Mom and daddy were always fighting. One night mom was high as a kite. I thought she was going to die.

We moved again into a really nice neighborhood. Mom found out she was pregnant that spring. After Shawna was born, we had a somewhat functional family. We were involved in sports, had everything we wanted and loved to play in the neighborhood and at friends houses. I was permiscuis and loved the attention from the boys. Mom and daddy only drank occasionally and had less major fights. Everything seemed okay. I remember sneaking into the living room one night a watching a movie from behind the couch. All I remember is that there was a lot of sex. From then on, every neighbor boy was my student. I wanted to tell them everything I had seen. I know it wasn't right, but it was exciting.

Before I knew it, I was 12 and going into the 7th grade. That summer, my parents told me they were getting divorced. Mom said my daddy didn’t want me; I was not his real child. I was hurt, rejected, and my world was turned upside down. I sought out male attention from every boy I met. That summer, my sister and our friends were into NKOTB, on the MTV video they showed girls all over them with their fan club info. We used moms camera to take revealing photos of ourselves and sent them to the group. I didn’t know much about sex, I knew what I learned from the videos I watched or from the neighbor boys. School started, Mom had a new guy, Matt, that moved in. He had money, a cool car, and liked to rock out. (There were 6 others that would come and go that year) By Christmas break, we had coed sleepovers with our friends. Mom made our first mixed alcoholic beverage, showed us how to get rid of a hang over and got drunk with us. One night I woke up to find a guy all over me. Later on, in High school, I found out he had AIDS. He died a few years after that. Another night I walked a high schooler home that forced me to touch him inappropriately. I couldn't tell anyone because I was afraid it was my fault. One night I drank a mix of alcohol and acid without knowing and friends locked me in my room. I freaked out for what seemed hours. I smoked a few cigarettes and tried pot, but drugs were not fun for me, reminding me of my past.

This went on until April and was getting old. Mom flirted with the boys from school that came to get drunk and sleep over. On my 13th birthday, I met Dale. He was in the rock band that performed for my party. We went to the beach for the weekend and Dale came along. We started dating that week. Dale was almost 17. It was not long after that when Dale and I had sex. My influences tought me it was okay. From then on my mom or grandma made sure I was on birth control. His parents did not want us to be together. In order for me to feel accepted by Dales parents, we went to church with them, but we did not change. I attended for them, not me.

When my 14th birthday came, I had already had sex, been drunk and done drugs. I was exposed to porn and physical and emotional abuse. I told Dale that if he did drugs, we would have to break up. He did them when I was not around. My mom handed me the court documents regarding my dad. This made me angry. Angela found out about her dad too, but she got to meet him. She attended church; a family took her in. I hardly ever saw her. I wanted church to fit into my life, not my life to be changed by God, instant gratification, an award or Halo. I wanted things to go my way.

Mom met Mark, who moved into our lives, trying to fill in as a parent, which was not received so well. He was raised from a Christian home and was wealthy. He kept his other residence and we went to the private lake house often. My freshman year, Dales parents divorced. I was so angry with his dad, he was moving away, just like every other male in my life.

My Sophomore year my mom was engaged to Mark and pregnant. Before I knew it, mom was single again. We moved from the home that was the only thing stable in my life. I was distraught, there was no way I was going to turn to God. I poured my heart into school and worked as a buser, then at Wendy's. I stayed away from home as much as possible. Dale would hang out with me on weekends and moved in the upstairs basement my Junior year.

McKayla was one of the best Christmas presents ever. Seemed like mom and I were finally coming together. We had a family and it was nice. Dale and I figured we would get married some day. There were times in our relationship that I thought I might be pregnant.

I considered all options, even suicide. I was too selfish to do it, but I thought about it. I was depressed most the time. I found out I had a thyroid disease the beginning of my senior year. Dale was an adult, working 40 hours a week and hanging out with his friends. We barely taked. I worked at Wendys and often over ate to hide my pain. Dale proposed on my 18th birthday, which actually came as a surprise to me. I graduated and we moved out.

I started college classes with my mom and spent time planning our wedding. We bought a house, got married, and started our Photography business in 10 months. Then I found out I was pregnant (this seriously only took one time to get pregnant). We struggled as young parents. I was the party queen. The youngest of most of our friends, so it was fun to finally be able to experience adulthood. Juggling that with a business and being a mom was not easy. It put a lot of strain on us. I was insecure, I was broken and I was depressed. It wasn’t until I decided to find my real Father when I was 22, that the concept of God became real to me. I never did find my father (I did find my grandma, uncle and sister and brothers), but in the process I found God, I found what I had wanted for so many years.

Our friend, Leif, drowned and left behind a wife and daughter. I told my mother in law that I wouldn’t believe in God until he revealed himself to me. Then my second child, Hannah, was faced with a surgery and God healed her. As I watched the doctors go over their records and ask me again if they were looking at the right ear that had been torn days before, I realized God was revealing himself to me. I did not believe in God until I saw him. I was desperate, in need of hope. I had many promises from different influences in my life. All which failed me. God has a will and purpose for everyone. At 25, I gave my life to God. I walked to him and he ran to me on the path with his arms wide open.

We all need an alter, something to go to, something to confide in and trust. Our true alter is where we become humble before our Lord, pour out our hearts and run from temptations. Put away lusts and things that don’t honor God. Dale was my alter for so many years. He had already started his walk with God and when it was my time to accept my creators will in my life, my husband gently guided me while God lead me. A few years ago, we celebrated 10 years of marriage with a covenant ceremony. God continues to amaze me, showing me his plan from before I was even born. I praise him for pig pens, because it is a place I never want to be again. Because of Him, it is a place that I never want anyone to have to go.

So that is my purpose, to plant seeds of hope and love.

Luke 15:6 ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7 I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.

Luke 15:10 10 Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.

Blessed Be Your Name: Tree 63


Dear Lord, I pray that you will bring healing to those that read this testimony, that you will take the words and use them for your glory. Thank you, Lord for carrying me when I needed you, for letting me walk when I needed to know I had enough strength and dancing with me when all I needed was to be free. Amen.

Please continue to pray for Pastor Dale C. this week.